MICROSOFT: Scottish version of Windows recall

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Scotland
version of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped to all 
computer stores, outwith Scotland.

If you have one of the Scotland editions you may need some help
understanding the commands. 

The Scotland edition may be recognised by looking at the opening 

It reads WINDAES 98, Ye Ken, with a background picture of 
William Wallace superimposed on a St. Andrews Cross.

It is shipped with a Mel Gibson  screen saver.

  • Also note the Recycle Bin is called The Bucket.
  • My Computer is called Thon Computer Thingie.
  • Dialup Networking is called Phone the Bhoys.
  • Control Panel is known as the Dashboard.
  • Hard Drive is referred to as the tractor.
  • Floppies are referred to as thae wee plastic disc things.
  • Other features:
  • Instead of an error message you get a windae covered with a picture of a neep.
  • OK = 'ats fine
  • cancel = na na ma loon
  • reset = Och ye'd be as weel startin again
  • yes = Och aye
  • no = nae chunce mon
  • find = if ye'd bothered to pit it past in a safe place, ye widnae need to look for it noo
  • go to = go'n ower 'ere
  • back = back the wye
  • help = geese a haun'
  • stop = packit in
  • start = com on 'en
  • settings = sittins
  • programs = stuff whit daes stuff
  • documents = stuff I hive done afore
  • Also note that windaes 98 does not recognise capital letters or
    punctuation marks.
    Some programs that are exclusive to windaes 98:
    Pincil an paper.....A word processor
    colourin book.......A Graphics program
    addin machine.......Calculator
    jukebox.............CD player
    photies.............A graphics viewer
    Massey..............Tractor dealers listed by Post Code
    car.................See previous entry
    tax records.........usually an empty file
    We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a
    copy of the Scotland edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a
    replacement version.