WHERE:Katie's Hoose - Toronto
WHO:Katie, Lindyloo, Eejit, Sandy Bumps, Spatz the dug,
Wully Mac and Mimi, Ron and Rosemary
WHY: Aw punters frae the I Belong To
Glesga Site
who had never met before
WHEN: 27th - 30th November, 1998

The 3 Main Culprits Invade Niagra with Katie leaving a wee present behind in the barrel

                                                                              Reporter Sandy Bumps

The Daily Toly
Saturday November 28, 1998


by: E.J. Itsburrd

Sources out of Toronto today said they suspected that the fire started in the kitchen of a Wee KKKKatie wumman was set deliberately.

There were no serious injuries; the only casualty being an innocent wee Tea Towel that hud never done anyboady any hairm.

Suspect is described as a bliddy forriner in her late twinnties; an ex-pat fae Weedgie Land, she's in Tronna on a visit from the USA. When asked why she hud set the fire, the suspect replied "ah wis fed up in therr anat.... they hud me prisoner in therr anat..... ah hud spent aw bliddy day jist cookin' in therr anat for they wans..... choklit chicken in therr anat..... they made fun o' it and ca'd it Kennomeat anat.... then they hud the bliddy nerve tae ask me tae go in therr anat and make the tea an a jist loast it..... ah'd hud the biskit!"

With that the suspect was led away in tears and handcuffs. When asked for a comment, the Apartment resident, described as standing 3'11", weighing in at 200lbs wi' a big mop of ridd hair and a corset, replied "Awae tae phuque ya bampot!" The other visitor who did not want to be identified (Eejit McGaw fae Kingston - jist doon the road a bit) fell tae the floor laughing, rolled over and fartit.

This reporter is shocked and horrified, shocked and horrified at the hooliganism brought to the fair city of Toronto of these immigrants... wan thinks wan shid jist loak the jile doors on these types and fling away the key!


Katie in her wisdom, decided a competition would be held; see who can score 5 points by inventing a new word fur Eejits Patter page. Poor Katie; she won her ain competition hands doon by a mile; in other words she skooshed it!

Unfortunately it also revealed that she is in fact paranoid!!!....aboot how 'wee' she really is.

Here it is - The Winning Entry:-

:- It was the term most frequently heard over the whole "RAMMY" but it always seemed to be directed at Eejit! Was it cos his burd SANDY BUMPS(Yes she is mah burd cos ah love her like a doo!) is smaller than her???

Was it cos Belinda ate her oot aw hoose an hame but left the juice alane? Or....

wis it cos Eejit left her a permanent reminder with his calling card in the CLUDGIE!

Clue - Her Stencilled Sink will never look the same again. Its starting tae turn up at the corners. Even Spatz wiz disgusted.

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Merr tae follow..............KKK - KOLA KUBE KURE FOR POLIO!
                                   GGG - GREAT GAS GUFF.

Thanks fur the Rammy of a Lifetime!